30 Ways To Know You're A Parent Of A Toddler

1. You impersonate the sound of every animal you encounter. If you’re a mom, you’re a bitch more than half the time.
2. You can accurately describe poop in all shapes, forms, and colors. And when you haven’t seen it in a while, you’re on what’s called ‘poop watch’.
3. Screaming doesn't sound as loud as it once used to (even if it has gotten louder).
4. You realize how difficult it is to sit down, though it’s really all you want to do.
5. Your memory has never fully recovered since the bump.
6. It’s an exceptional time in your life, where you can smell someone’s butt in public without reserve or being arrested.
7. 6pm is dangerous and is not a time to be sleeping.
8. You have to insist on vacuuming even when someone else desperately wants to do it.
9. You know every alternative to Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish (not to mention every version of their own line).
10. You don’t have a lot of (or any) time to read books that don’t reference animals or personify inanimate objects.
11. Even when you’re by yourself, you look at a flying plane in the sky with wonder and excitement.
12. You skip your workout when planning to go out to a restaurant because that, in and of itself, is your workout.
13. Forget working out, who has time for that?
14. But actually, your biceps have never been so toned in your life.
15. You identify practically everything as ‘Not a toy’.
16. You insist someone else go to the bathroom when you do.
17. Though you appreciate their curiosity, you still get upset when they touch things in public bathrooms.
18. In fact, if Yelp had a category for public bathrooms, you could be an Elite reviewer.
19. You found another purpose for hoodies. It not only keeps heads warm and hair dry, but it also dubs as a leash in potentially quick runaways.
20. You didn’t realize standing in line at Starbucks was that interesting.
21. Forget lipstick, spare socks are your must-have purse item.
22. You can find the humor in snot.
23. You have rekindled your love for Legos.
24. You’ve never lost (or misplaced) so many items in your life.
25. You blame teething for any and all middle-of-the-night wakings.
26. You know that Cheerios can, in fact, be eaten with a fork.
27. You avoid fountains and escalators if you’re in a rush.
28. You’re always in a rush.
29. Car seats don’t scare you though your phobia for reinstalling them still gives you nightmares.
30. You are relieved at the end of the day when the house is quiet but are too tired to actually enjoy it. Instead, you go to bed early.

What did we miss?

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This post is authored by piecesofm and is dedicated to her life love, who'll be turning Terrible tomorrow! :>



Happy Healthy Juicy Parenting!

Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry - A HealthyButJuicy Original #15minuterecipe!

If you thought 30-minute meals was fast, try 15 seconds!

HealthyButJuicy kicks off its 15-second video recipes with Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry. Follow @mdesenna on Instagram for instant video-licious gratification and check back here for the detailed recipes. Dishes will be 100% HealthyButJuicy and scrumptious!



So one of the key skills you should develop when cooking HealthyButJuicy is to be able to modify recipes to your likes, tastes, budget, and what you simply have on hand. We called this dish Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry but if you don't eat or like pork, you can simply swap it out for ground beef, chicken, or turkey, firm tofu, or even meat substitute crumbles.

As for the vegetables, we used edamame and carrots (a couple of my daughter's favorites), red bell pepper, and scallions (aka. green onions). We would have added corn, which would have been a nice additional color (and another of my daughter's favorite) but we didn't have any. No biggie.

My daughter ended up not really liking the red peppers— we don't typically eat it often— but I thought it was a great addition both in terms of color, flavor, and texture. It added a bit of sweet- and juiciness and complimented the salmon that we ate with this dish well.

Re: kids and food dislikes. I am all for offering new foods to my daughter (almost 2!). Variety is the spice of life, isn't it? :> And it's important to offer variety to your kids when they're young because as we grow older we tend to be less willing to try new things or foods we think we don't like. As Ellen Satyr (a child nutrition expert) has said, sometimes it takes as many as 15-20 times for kid try a new food before s/he likes it (I remember that because I got that question wrong on a quiz in grad school :>).

Also, offering foods your kids may not necessarily like can actually help teach them some proper table manners. Instead of throwing food on the floor or across the room, my daughter now either gives the food to me to put on my plate, puts the food she doesn't want on her own plate (farthest away from her), or puts it back on the main serving dish. (Perhaps the latter isn't very proper but it's a step up from across the room. :>)

Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry Recipe

Ingredients
3 medium Carrots, diced
1-2 cups Low-Sodium Chicken Broth/Stock (enough to cover the carrots in a small pot)
4 oz. Ground Pork
2 Scallions, finely-sliced
1 Red Bell Pepper, diced
1 cup frozen, thawed Edamame
1-2 tbsp. Oyster Sauce
Oil, as needed

1. In a small pot, cook the carrots in the broth. Carrots take longer than the other vegetables to cook. Cook them to your desired consistency. We cook them until semi-firm to-the-bite, or how my daughter likes it. Skipping this step is also an option if you don't mind your carrots crunchy.
2. In a large wok or deep pan, heat up some oil (about 1-2 tbsp). Add the pork, spreading it across the pan. We're looking for a good sear to bring out the flavor.
3. Add the scallions and toss to release some of its flavors.
4. Scoop out of pan onto serving dish.
5. Add a little more oil to the pan and let it heat up a little.
6. Add the peppers and toss to coat. Cover the pan slightly to soften.
7. Toss in the other vegetables and stir-fry until everything is warmed up.
8. Add the pork and scallion mix.
9. Add a little bit of oyster sauce and re-toss.
10. Transfer the everything back to the serving dish. Voila!

Tweet or Instagram us a pic of this recipe if you try it! Tag your posts with #healthybutjuicy #15secondrecipe

We'd love to see your versions and how it turned out!

Happy Healthy Juicy Make-It-Your-Own Stir-Fry!

We Can't Stop... Talking About Miley Cyrus

Days after her performance, the world is still buzzing about Miley Cyrus and her performance at the VMAs.

This picture pretty much sums it up, in case you live in the outer-vortex of pop culture.
Source: Getty Images

It was all tongue and very raunchy. Man, her tongue.

But, really, could we have expected any less? Her latest hit, We Can't Stop, has over 162 million hits on YouTube alone (not to mention #4 on iTunes' Top Music Downloads, just under folks like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga) and, there, already, we got a glimpse of the ever-evolving, ever-straying-away-from-Disney sexual princess, tongue and twerk and crotch and all.

I just finished reading Miley Cyrus Inc.'s Branding Tips (via LinkedIn, no less!) and, despite the author's disapproval, personally, I think the girl got it right. Miley continues to engage audiences, larger and larger, and gives people something to talk about. As an entertainer, it's basically her job to do that and one she's obviously doing well. Marketers and branders can all learn from it since, apparently, We Can't Stop watching or talking about her.

That said, though, from a different, non-business perspective, where should the line be drawn? While her marketing/branding/engagement skills are top notch, as a public figure to such an influential demographic, is she violating her responsibility as a role model, which, unavoidably, she is and cannot escape. We get angry when images of murderers are shared and, arguably, idolized in the mass media, like when the Boston Marathon bomber was beautifully portrayed on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Equally, are we doing the same with Miley?

As a parent to a little girl [thankfully(?) not old enough to understand any of this], what would I say and how would I react if she were to have seen Miley's performance as, say, a t(w)eenager? Surely, I don't condone porn stars, which Miley is unfortunately erring on the side of; on the other hand, I don't know if the world really realizes how young Miley still is— she's not even 21 yet. Despite all the money and fame, she's still a kid and will make mistakes and go through stupid phases. As much as a role model I think/know she is, as a parent, my reaction would be continuous and way pre-determined. Way.

We all know entertainers and mass media are out there and can influence our kids, even ourselves. It's our jobs as parents not necessarily to abhor and shun it, because likewise, they can also be very positive forces in our lives and they're just sometimes simply unavoidable. In the very least, Miley wasn't hurting anyone, with the exception of maybe herself? (TBD) and some eyeballs and stomachs (which could have easily told their hands to change the channel). Take it/her for what it's worth (possibly nothing). Teach your kids values and media literacy and move on.

Here's a clip of her lyrics:

It's our song we can sing if we want to
It's my mouth I can say what I want to...

And we can't stop
And we won't stop
We run things, things don't run we
Don't take nothing from nobody
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ehh

And this is what I take— (See the positive in everything).
' Source


What (positive) things can you take away from Miley's performance or after-effects thereof? Share your Comments below or Tweet/Instagram us your thoughts, we'd love to hear! xoxo

Happy Healthy Juicy Positivity!