What Happens When You Have One Sick Single Parent, One Healthy Kid?

What happens when your kid is sick but both parents work?

That's the question the author of this article, Two Working Parents, One Sick Kid, addresses. When faced with his kid sick for the first time, the author (the dad) realizes sexist cultural norms still exist today and that, by default, in situations like these, mom stays home vs. dad.

He writes:

I, on the other hand, felt the full weight of parenthood finally pressing down on me. The buck stops with me, I thought, but I am not the buckstopper... Now, it was on me, and he was sick, and he was sad. And I had work. Lots of it. Something had to give. It was exceedingly hard to say, "Hey, I need to take some time off to care for my sick son." ... And I realized I was holding onto some guilt, too. Like I had abandoned my work, which I care deeply about, for a sick kid.

It's comments and, frankly, complaints like these that make it difficult to empathize.

Abandon his dear work to care for a sick kid? A sick kid? Said sick kid isn't just any kid but happens to be his own. What do working people who love their work really think when they have kids? That they won't have to make sacrifices for the life they brought into the world?

Moreover, it's all relative. While the author acknowledges working-parent cultural norms are sexist and the privilege is in his favor, he fails to acknowledge the full extent of his privilege. That, while he might have to take a few days off, his family still benefits from a) a higher chance that at least one present parent is healthy enough to care for their child and, b) a dual income to support his family.

This is not some raging single-mom rant. But to put things into perspective, what happens when you have one sick parent, one absentee one, and one healthy kid?

“I left an abusive relationship and I have nowhere to go. I have Hepatitis C, so no one is willing to take me in. I...

Posted by Humans of New York on Thursday, August 13, 2015

The author of the above article is experiencing a completely normal situation in probably the best of circumstances. While everyone is entitled to complain, what is he really complaining about?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Written by piecesofm.

Don't Tell Me I'm Skinny

We all know we shouldn't call someone fat, and yet there's this strange phenomenon where people think it's ok to call someone skinny or say that a person doesn't eat. Out loud. In front of a person's face. Where does this privilege come from? Why is there a need to mention it, particularly in presence of said person him/herself? And, most importantly, why is this even bothersome at all?

We live in a society and culture where image is everything. Those who preach 'never judge a book by its cover' are hypocrites. It's human nature, I get it. To be human, though, is also having the ability to be civil and think before we speak as well.

There's this saying:



A person may be thin because s/he has cancer; diabetes; chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD); HIV; or a gastrointestinal, renal, cardiac, or neurologic disease. A person may be thin because s/he is depressed or has an eating disorder. Or, perhaps, a person may be thin because s/he just has a small frame, is more active, or just simply eats less. Less DOESN'T equal nothing, it means not as much or more, just less.

There is a shitload of reasons people may be thinner than you'd like them to be but whatever the case, you may know nothing about it, nor should you feel the sense of entitlement to act like you're in 6th grade and be rude about it to their face.

If a person is thinner than you would like them to be, ask yourself why it's bothering you. If you aren't happy with the way you look, don't criticize others. Instead, do something about it.



Because, you know...



And...



Yes, it's that easy. Maybe not as easy as making someone else feel bad but it's doable.

If you're on the other end of the stick figure (pun intended)...



And...





And finally... don't tell me I'm skinny because, hunny, you don't know what skinny is. #piecesofm

Thoughts? Leave them in the Comments below

How To Apologize, When To Forgive

I wanted to post this photo and give it a beautiful caption, like 'Blissful way to end the long weekend'. And it was, but that's only half the truth.

The real truth is that, yes, this was what the end of what our long weekend looked like— settled, calm, happy, loving, and together in a booth at a somewhat fancy, somewhat pricey (for us) restaurant— but it took a storm to get here.

My daughter is 2 years old, nearing three. Her 'terrible twos' days are numbered— I know, I've heard, three's are actually worse but I am in complete denial about it. I have to give her credit, though, because with me she's only had maybe one... ok, two, major public tantrums.

The first was in Trader Joes. She needed to go to the bathroom (bad) but we didn't have her toilet seat and she went hysterical, too afraid to use the 'big' toilet as is. She ended up peeing in her pants, which made the hysteria that much more amplified.

The second time was in the car at her school's parking lot. Maybe no one saw it (I'm hoping, but I'd again be in denial to really think that). She wanted to go back into the school to wash her hands, as I had asked when we were in there, but it was late and I wanted needed to hit the road because traffic was already bad and we have a long commute home.

This most recent time (yesterday) happened in the swimming pool. We were at the pool for a good 2 hours— I was going to limit the time to less than that because I was exhausted when we did that last time but that obviously didn't work. Nearing on hour 2, another family came to swim. We had seen and played with them last time, so knew they were good company. Shortly after, two other families came. It was like a party. I had just spent 2 hours carrying her back and forth in the pool, 'swimming', and my only child all of a sudden was at a pool party with kids all somewhat around her age.

But it was really time for us to go. We stayed another half hour and then I put my foot down, or tried to at least. All I can say is that she really wasn't ready to go. She let me know that, the other families, along with the whole neighborhood.

I always worry about times like these, where I am filled with insecurity and self-doubt. Am I a bad parent? What will these people think of me? Will I be reported? Yes, it goes that far. The media has done its job well— stories have successfully been sensationalized enough times and I, as a parent, have been sufficiently provoked. Thankfully, though, I'm pretty trained in self-talk as well, and can rationalize with myself that, that's ridiculous and I'm having idiotic thoughts.

When we got home and things settled down, was the time I took to talk to her, recap what happened, and teach her how to apologize for her actions. Previously, my method was three-pronged but, in between this latest hysteria and calm, I've made it four-. This is NOT something you should necessarily do with your child(ren) but this is what I did and will keep doing until I refine my parenting to do something else, hopefully better (more effective)?

First, I let her know she needs to apologize. Kids quickly learn and know when they've done something wrong, and when they need to do (or not do) something. As parents, we need to help them formally recognize these things by telling them direct. Their recognition skills are still underdeveloped. It's just like taking a shower. They know they need to do it but, still, they continuously need to be told for quite some time before they learn to actually do it themselves.

So she says sorry. But is sorry enough? That's a rhetorical question. I asked her why she was sorry. This is really important because just saying sorry is a cop-out— just saying sorry doesn't require her to think or reflect on anything. Asking why makes her think and learn to recognize the actual actions/behavior that warrants an apology. Hopefully, doing this enough times will sink in and she will be able to recognize the consequences of her behavior before she actually does anything.

Typically, then, after she says sorry and 'what for', I ask her if she's going to do it again, and if what she did is being good or naughty (translated from a different language). I do this sort of to summarize and drive home the message without dragging things on.

This time, however, I realized it would be good to add just one more piece to the apology: I asked her what can she do different for next time. I realized this was important because (clearly) she didn't know how to respond to something against her desires. In my original set of questions (arguably, a 'lesson'), she can recognize what she's done but, from there, doesn't learn how she can handle similar situations going forward. She obviously doesn't always know what she can do instead, so sharing some better options with her isn't 'cheating' by giving her the answers, but it can actually help her grow her 'good behavior vocabulary', so to speak.

Finally, I forgave her. I always do, once we've reached the end of the apology. This is actually what I consider one of the most important, if not the most important, steps of this apology process. Being able to forgive someone is an invaluable lesson to learn and skill to do. We gave each other a kiss and a hug, and said I Love You. Then, we kept on dancing.

Parenting can be tiring— after 2.5 hours in the pool, I was already drained— and challenging. But it can also be one of the most rewarding and strengthening things you ever do. My kid teaches me so much and continues to make me into the best version of myself... how's that for a sappy ending after all? :> 100% truth.

Below is a recap of how we apologize and when we forgive.

• Say sorry...
• Why are you sorry...?
• Is that naughty or nice?
• Will you do that again?
• What will you do different next time?
• Forgive: Kiss. Hug. I Love You. Keep on dancing.

How do you teach your kid(s) to apologize and forgive? Share in the Comments below, we'd love to hear! :>

Written by piecesofm.

Why I'm Thankful - Reflecting On International Day Of The Girl

Last night, I spent a more-than-expected amount of time reading this UNICEF report about FGM/C, or Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting, a practice that is highly prevalent in Africa and perhaps occurring elsewhere.

Yesterday was the International Day Of The Girl, a United-Nations-declared day that seeks to 'recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world'. Girls' rights to Education is this year's focus but FGM/C is another pressing issue that girls face too amongst a list of others. The numbers and data are staggering and so very sad. Over 125 MILLION girls and women are subjected to this cruelty.

I had vaguely remembered reading about this horrid practice in a women's magazine once but couldn't remember the details (or maybe I didn't want to). In brief, according to the WHO (World Health Organization), FGM/C is defined as 'all procedures that involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons'.

The horrid procedure can be performed at varying degrees— cutting, removing, pricking, sealing, to name a few— but to whatever degree, it is heart-wrenching and traumatic to even hear about. Even more unfortunate is to hear about the hardships these girls and women have to endure for the rest of their life, if they even survive— forced marriages, rape, beatings, denial of basic human rights... the list goes on. And on.

It's scary to see some of the data that shows the opposition of the desire to end these inhumane practices. Even scarier, many of them are women. Did you know, daughters of women who were cut are more likely to get cut than those whose mothers have not been? As hard as it is to understand and even fathom, I guess this sort of makes sense. Brutality breeds brutality. Ignorance breeds ignorance.

To take away from this on a personal level is to reflect on my own life and situation. It reminds me how good I actually have it, some reasons why I'm lucky, and how thankful I am that I and my daughter have been born in a society where this is the not the norm.

My daughter is at the forefront of my thoughts. While some of these issues are not commonplace in my country, there is still hate. And no matter where we go, it will always be a threat. Give me the opportunity to answer the infamous Miss Universe pageant question— What do you wish for the world?— and it would be to eliminate all hate (and ignorance too)... followed by a Why can't we all just get along? :>

But, as I gripe about things like not getting my daughter's year-long portfolio of artwork from her previous school ('Some school/education, hmph!'), I quiet myself, turn course, and quickly let it go. Instead, I smile because she's sitting next to me, smiling back, happy, safe, and HealthyButJuicy.

Share your thoughts in the Comments below and SHARE/LIKE this post if you thought it was worth your while.

We appreciate your thoughts and support! :>

Happy Healthy Juicy Girls!


This piece is authored by piecesofm, who blogs about parenthood, tech, food, fashion, and inspiration.

30 Ways To Know You're A Parent Of A Toddler

1. You impersonate the sound of every animal you encounter. If you’re a mom, you’re a bitch more than half the time.
2. You can accurately describe poop in all shapes, forms, and colors. And when you haven’t seen it in a while, you’re on what’s called ‘poop watch’.
3. Screaming doesn't sound as loud as it once used to (even if it has gotten louder).
4. You realize how difficult it is to sit down, though it’s really all you want to do.
5. Your memory has never fully recovered since the bump.
6. It’s an exceptional time in your life, where you can smell someone’s butt in public without reserve or being arrested.
7. 6pm is dangerous and is not a time to be sleeping.
8. You have to insist on vacuuming even when someone else desperately wants to do it.
9. You know every alternative to Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish (not to mention every version of their own line).
10. You don’t have a lot of (or any) time to read books that don’t reference animals or personify inanimate objects.
11. Even when you’re by yourself, you look at a flying plane in the sky with wonder and excitement.
12. You skip your workout when planning to go out to a restaurant because that, in and of itself, is your workout.
13. Forget working out, who has time for that?
14. But actually, your biceps have never been so toned in your life.
15. You identify practically everything as ‘Not a toy’.
16. You insist someone else go to the bathroom when you do.
17. Though you appreciate their curiosity, you still get upset when they touch things in public bathrooms.
18. In fact, if Yelp had a category for public bathrooms, you could be an Elite reviewer.
19. You found another purpose for hoodies. It not only keeps heads warm and hair dry, but it also dubs as a leash in potentially quick runaways.
20. You didn’t realize standing in line at Starbucks was that interesting.
21. Forget lipstick, spare socks are your must-have purse item.
22. You can find the humor in snot.
23. You have rekindled your love for Legos.
24. You’ve never lost (or misplaced) so many items in your life.
25. You blame teething for any and all middle-of-the-night wakings.
26. You know that Cheerios can, in fact, be eaten with a fork.
27. You avoid fountains and escalators if you’re in a rush.
28. You’re always in a rush.
29. Car seats don’t scare you though your phobia for reinstalling them still gives you nightmares.
30. You are relieved at the end of the day when the house is quiet but are too tired to actually enjoy it. Instead, you go to bed early.

What did we miss?

Share below in the Comments, we'd love to laugh out loud!

And Share This Post on your social networks, it'd mean the world! :>

This post is authored by piecesofm and is dedicated to her life love, who'll be turning Terrible tomorrow! :>



Happy Healthy Juicy Parenting!

Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry - A HealthyButJuicy Original #15minuterecipe!

If you thought 30-minute meals was fast, try 15 seconds!

HealthyButJuicy kicks off its 15-second video recipes with Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry. Follow @mdesenna on Instagram for instant video-licious gratification and check back here for the detailed recipes. Dishes will be 100% HealthyButJuicy and scrumptious!



So one of the key skills you should develop when cooking HealthyButJuicy is to be able to modify recipes to your likes, tastes, budget, and what you simply have on hand. We called this dish Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry but if you don't eat or like pork, you can simply swap it out for ground beef, chicken, or turkey, firm tofu, or even meat substitute crumbles.

As for the vegetables, we used edamame and carrots (a couple of my daughter's favorites), red bell pepper, and scallions (aka. green onions). We would have added corn, which would have been a nice additional color (and another of my daughter's favorite) but we didn't have any. No biggie.

My daughter ended up not really liking the red peppers— we don't typically eat it often— but I thought it was a great addition both in terms of color, flavor, and texture. It added a bit of sweet- and juiciness and complimented the salmon that we ate with this dish well.

Re: kids and food dislikes. I am all for offering new foods to my daughter (almost 2!). Variety is the spice of life, isn't it? :> And it's important to offer variety to your kids when they're young because as we grow older we tend to be less willing to try new things or foods we think we don't like. As Ellen Satyr (a child nutrition expert) has said, sometimes it takes as many as 15-20 times for kid try a new food before s/he likes it (I remember that because I got that question wrong on a quiz in grad school :>).

Also, offering foods your kids may not necessarily like can actually help teach them some proper table manners. Instead of throwing food on the floor or across the room, my daughter now either gives the food to me to put on my plate, puts the food she doesn't want on her own plate (farthest away from her), or puts it back on the main serving dish. (Perhaps the latter isn't very proper but it's a step up from across the room. :>)

Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry Recipe

Ingredients
3 medium Carrots, diced
1-2 cups Low-Sodium Chicken Broth/Stock (enough to cover the carrots in a small pot)
4 oz. Ground Pork
2 Scallions, finely-sliced
1 Red Bell Pepper, diced
1 cup frozen, thawed Edamame
1-2 tbsp. Oyster Sauce
Oil, as needed

1. In a small pot, cook the carrots in the broth. Carrots take longer than the other vegetables to cook. Cook them to your desired consistency. We cook them until semi-firm to-the-bite, or how my daughter likes it. Skipping this step is also an option if you don't mind your carrots crunchy.
2. In a large wok or deep pan, heat up some oil (about 1-2 tbsp). Add the pork, spreading it across the pan. We're looking for a good sear to bring out the flavor.
3. Add the scallions and toss to release some of its flavors.
4. Scoop out of pan onto serving dish.
5. Add a little more oil to the pan and let it heat up a little.
6. Add the peppers and toss to coat. Cover the pan slightly to soften.
7. Toss in the other vegetables and stir-fry until everything is warmed up.
8. Add the pork and scallion mix.
9. Add a little bit of oyster sauce and re-toss.
10. Transfer the everything back to the serving dish. Voila!

Tweet or Instagram us a pic of this recipe if you try it! Tag your posts with #healthybutjuicy #15secondrecipe

We'd love to see your versions and how it turned out!

Happy Healthy Juicy Make-It-Your-Own Stir-Fry!

Nuk Sippy Cup Review!

Not all sippy cups are created equal. That's the beauty (and waste!) of options.

In this episode of From Baby Bottles To Sippy Cups, piecesofm reviews the NUK Sippy Cup, comparing it to previously-tried baby/toddler drinkware and on its own.



Here are some features piecesofm looks for when buying cups for baby/toddler:

• Spill-proofability
• Cost
• Size— capacity and weight
• Number of parts/ease of washing
• Durability
• Handles
• Shape— ability to fit in tray holders
• Colors

What do you look for when purchasing sippy cups? And, if you tried the NUK, what did you think? Share below! We'd love to hear!

Happy Healthy Juicy Sippy Cups!