30 Ways To Know You're A Parent Of A Toddler

1. You impersonate the sound of every animal you encounter. If you’re a mom, you’re a bitch more than half the time.
2. You can accurately describe poop in all shapes, forms, and colors. And when you haven’t seen it in a while, you’re on what’s called ‘poop watch’.
3. Screaming doesn't sound as loud as it once used to (even if it has gotten louder).
4. You realize how difficult it is to sit down, though it’s really all you want to do.
5. Your memory has never fully recovered since the bump.
6. It’s an exceptional time in your life, where you can smell someone’s butt in public without reserve or being arrested.
7. 6pm is dangerous and is not a time to be sleeping.
8. You have to insist on vacuuming even when someone else desperately wants to do it.
9. You know every alternative to Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish (not to mention every version of their own line).
10. You don’t have a lot of (or any) time to read books that don’t reference animals or personify inanimate objects.
11. Even when you’re by yourself, you look at a flying plane in the sky with wonder and excitement.
12. You skip your workout when planning to go out to a restaurant because that, in and of itself, is your workout.
13. Forget working out, who has time for that?
14. But actually, your biceps have never been so toned in your life.
15. You identify practically everything as ‘Not a toy’.
16. You insist someone else go to the bathroom when you do.
17. Though you appreciate their curiosity, you still get upset when they touch things in public bathrooms.
18. In fact, if Yelp had a category for public bathrooms, you could be an Elite reviewer.
19. You found another purpose for hoodies. It not only keeps heads warm and hair dry, but it also dubs as a leash in potentially quick runaways.
20. You didn’t realize standing in line at Starbucks was that interesting.
21. Forget lipstick, spare socks are your must-have purse item.
22. You can find the humor in snot.
23. You have rekindled your love for Legos.
24. You’ve never lost (or misplaced) so many items in your life.
25. You blame teething for any and all middle-of-the-night wakings.
26. You know that Cheerios can, in fact, be eaten with a fork.
27. You avoid fountains and escalators if you’re in a rush.
28. You’re always in a rush.
29. Car seats don’t scare you though your phobia for reinstalling them still gives you nightmares.
30. You are relieved at the end of the day when the house is quiet but are too tired to actually enjoy it. Instead, you go to bed early.

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This post is authored by piecesofm and is dedicated to her life love, who'll be turning Terrible tomorrow! :>



Happy Healthy Juicy Parenting!