Getting & Sharing the Lowdown

In the April 2010 issue of Men’s Health Magazine (UK Edition), staff member Alex Harris *personally* goes ‘on assignment’ to do some in-depth reporting. His story feature? High-class orgies.

He researches group sex parties, participates in one with success, then another with fail, then another without fail—‘success’ and ‘fail’ used loosely. He writes about his experience and what he gained [and lost] from it.

I’m sort of dumbstruck by it all.

I admit it made for an interesting read and enough so for me to write about it, so the magazine is obviously doing its job in that respect, but...

How is a story like this assigned? Having an inexperienced protagonist tell the story is advantageous as it allows the reader to better relate, but where is the line drawn between writer and.. prostitute? The feature itself even noted that group sex is legal [in the UK] if all are consenting and unpaid but different laws apply if payment is involved. Harris wasn’t paid by other participants but, on the other hand, was for participating—how else could he have written the story? Does that count?

Entertainment aside, what was the moral of the story, if any? Harris does write about the disconnect and slight remorse afterwards but seems to revel in his last tryst and doesn’t make clear what the charm is third time around—will [or has] he continue[d] even after the article’s been printed or will his last experience remain the last? It’s not for me to say with whom and how many at a time this guy should be having sex with but if the magazine is really that popular [google: ‘men’ or ‘men uk’] and then publishes somewhat of an endorsement of this activity, then there are words to be dropped—social responsibility are two of them.

At the forefront of my mind on the subject matter was safety, but no where in his ventures does he mention protection or even consideration thereof. The only disease he does worry about, however, is addiction. Addiction?! Addiction. That’s what he’s worried about. ..take that as you will.

The feature reminded me of a similar story I read just months earlier. Pamela Druckerman (a former journalist for the Wall Street Journal) published a piece in Marie Claire on what she got her husband for his 40th birthday: a threesome. She describes the process of finding someone and the actual experience but, aside from worrying about the planning, also fails to mention use or even concern of protection in the act. She does, though, conclude:

I'm left feeling unsettled. I can't wait to shower. Sadly, I'm more conventional than I'd thought. In theory, I didn't mind sharing my husband for an afternoon. In practice, I was shaken up. I wasn't bored; I was bothered.

What ever happened to good ole monogamy? And what’s with these adventurist types? Why can’t they seek risk elsewhere, in other things like..
   - Leaving the house without an umbrella on a very dark and cloudy day?.. or..
   - Getting in the express line with more than 10 items?.. or..
   - Eating school food for lunch? ..Just to see what it’s like..

The cost, in comparison, for the latter at least, would be less than $2 versus perhaps a lifetime of STD(s), trauma, or worse, early death.

I’m just sayin’..