Poor Jennifer Aniston? Her Movies at the Box Office, perhaps, but otherwise, not even Barely.

Jennifer Aniston's new movie turned out to be nothing new. Well, we knew that already— older, single woman, no man, baby issues... But despite her requests for privacy, the movies she chooses continue to parallel her so-called real life. In title anyway: 'Rumor Has It', 'The Break-Up', 'He's Just Not That Into You', 'Friends with Money'.. But seriously, after this weekend, it's official. The Switch wasn't able to change Aniston's infamy for box office flops. The movie opened this weekend to a dim $8.4 million, not to say the media isn't ablaze about it. She still holds the limelight.

The headlines range from..

..pity?..
'Jennifer Aniston's box office blues‎' - CNN

..to defeatist..
'Jennifer Aniston: Where should she go from here?' - Entertainment Weekly

..to hopeful..
Jennifer Aniston To Prowl Into Courteney Cox's 'Cougar Town' - MTV

..to sensational..
'Jennifer Aniston's Publicity Tour Spurs Controversy' - The Celebrity Cafe

..to.. who cares about the movie? what about her love life [or lack thereof]??..
'Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer: Back On or Just Friends?!' - E! Online


And that's the thing. While critics are quick to predict the demise of America's [most talked about] Girl-Next-Door as a shoddy movie star, are they perhaps forgetting she...

• still made Forbes' Top 10 Actresses For The Buck less than a year ago, bombs and all, with an average ROI of $26 for every $1 she was paid?
• still ranks high on Forbes' Celebrity 100 —'a measure of power based on money and fame'— her current ranking as of this summer at #26?
• still has a handful [make that handfulS] of films in production, in development, and probably continuing to be offered?
  
• And even if she isn't acting on the big screen, she still has her production company; advertising campaigns, notably with SmartWater; friends on the little screen offering her parts; now, a new fragrance; covers, interviews, and appearances [because people will pay to see her, even if not at the theater]? By goodness, if Lindsay Lohan can make money, so can Jen!
• And even if she didn't have all that going for her, she could still do nothing and still make a higher annual salary than most of us via syndication of Friends. Heck, with her asset$, she doesn't even need income at all.

So, should the woman who once donned the most sought-after 'do be worried? Plain and simply, no. Money aside, she still serves a purpose, for men and women alike, as someone to..

• Idolize and fantasize about: once her hair, now her svelte 40+yo body.
• Live vicariously through: as a princess when she married the sexiest man alive.
• Sympathize for: when that fairytale tragically ended.
• Pity: when [and continuously still, since] she lost her man to the woman with even more exalted assets than hair—a juicy pucker— and enthusiasm to rear a sizeable brood.
• Empathize with: as she has yet to find another prince charming, is still single and babyless, yet independent and successful.

Let's face it. America still loves her. As this headline tries to proclaim: 'Most American Women Agree with Jennifer Aniston: 83% Surveyed Support a Single Woman Using IVF to Conceive a Child'.

It's the job of sensational media to stir things up and what better way than to beat down others? They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but perhaps criticism is too.


And until she picks a decent non-rom-com to do, we'll just have to be sufficiently sated with her Picture Perfect, offscreen character.


Happy Healthy Juicy Jen Aniston, despite her Derailed love life, is still a Good Girl, Friend, and tied-up Rock Star!