The ART of Today's Evolving Families

What does Proposition 8 and Jen Aniston's new flick have in common [other than the fact that the former will be ineffective and the latter will be released both by the end of this week]?

Parenthood.

It used to be that assisted reproductive technology [ART], as it is so fancily called, was used by 'traditional', married [opposite-sex] couples experiencing problems with conceiving, including fertility medication and in vitro fertilization. Today, well, we no longer live in a traditional world. As romantic relationships change in our society, so does the meaning of family.

A notorious example is divorce.

Remember when divorce was uncommon? It actually wasn't so long, ago. Rates soared in the early 60s, turning what was [and still is] believed by some to be the most 'ideal' parenting situation— one with a mom & dad — into single-parent, missing-parent and step-parent households. Today, it is estimated that about 50% of marriages end in divorce.


Legalization of same-sex marriage and partial effects of women’s lib are two additional, emerging examples that are changing relationships in our society today.

As same-sex marriages begin to integrate into our society as a norm, it’s likely more families are going to arise out of them.


As for women’s lib, namely in the arena of career, the issue used to be figuring out how a working mom can juggle both work and family life. But now, as time progresses and women become even more focused and successful in their careers, the issue is not just how to deal with both lives but how to attain them. That is, some women may be so focused on career that they forget about or don’t invest enough of their energies into relationships, while others may put forth the effort but without any luck of finding ‘the one’. Whatever the case, these women are single, with clocks ticking, and with enough of a nest egg to support nesting an egg of their own.


In both these cases, if adoption is not the method of choice, ART is. And like divorce, these non-traditional families don’t come without complication or at least issues of their own. In divorce, issues include custody, visitation rights, and child support. In these new familial shifts, issues extend even further into legality, such as whose name goes on birth certificates [carrier, donor, partner..?], to possibly morality and ethics, such as addressing whether using anonymous sperm strips away children’s ‘inherent right’[?] of knowing where/who they [totally] come from.

For a more extensive discussion and an interesting article: Read this.

[Gamete] donation is a current hot & heated topic of the moment, as it is brought into the limelight along with Aniston's new flick, The Switch, her public comments about it, and the use of ART.

Along her press junket, Aniston has been [controversially, or juicily] quoted as saying..

'Women are realising it more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child.. Times have changed and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents' days when you can't have children because you have waited too long..

'The point of the movie is what is it that defines family? It isn't necessarily the traditional mother, father, two children and a dog named Spot. Love is love and family is what is around you and who is in your immediate sphere. That is what I love about this movie. It is saying it is not the traditional sort of stereotype of what we have been taught as a society of what family is.'

Not one to shy away from controversy, Bill O'Reilly responded:

'She's throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that hey, you don't need a guy, you don't need a dad.. That's destructive to our society.. [and] diminishing the role of the dad.. Dads bring a psychology to children that is, in this society, I believe, under-emphasized. I think men get hosed all day long in the parental arena.'

Feeding the feud, Aniston responded:

'And, of course, many women dream of finding Prince Charming (with fatherly instincts), but for those who've not yet found their Bill O'Reilly, I'm just glad science has provided a few other options.'

While it might be the end of the discussion for these two [for now], it’s just the beginning for the rest of us.

To conclude, some food for thought: Considering divorce situations aren't deemed the most ‘optimal’, is that then to say even heterosexual couples shouldn't have children because of the such high risk of potential unideal circumstances [a dissolution of the mom and dad duo]?

And for dessert, some la la’s..




Happy Healthy Juicy Families without borders but Full of Love!

Step [It] Up: Your love, passion, life..

I caught a pre-screening last night of the new summer flick, Step Up 3D, out this Friday.



Step Up 3D is, as its name clearly indicates, in 3D— there's a first for everything, even for me— and is the third installment of the Step Up series. While it's not a movie to seek out for the acting or coherent character story lines, there are still elements of the film that make it worth checking out, or at least reading about.

The movie is about street dance. In sum, two groups- the good vs. the bad- are pitted against each other in a competition that will either save or destroy the good guys. This is one of those movies in which the scenes with the topic matter —dance— are the only ones of substance; everything else is just filler. Think of it like a dance show but nearly live given the 3D feature.


As for the aforementioned few things worth noting from the flick..

1) Nix Traditional Thinking: The movie starts off with Moose, one of the main characters, being dropped off at Washington Square Park as a new freshman on his way to study none other than Electrical Engineering at NYU [yes, there was branding all over the place], giving up his love of dance for 'practical' purposes. It's a perfect illustration that is the fault of too many people, parents especially. Fortunately, though, Moose finds a way get the best of both worlds, which is the ideal—as always, it's not about deprivation but moderation.

2) Discover Passion: Peppered throughout the movie is documentary-like footage of the dancers— what got them into dance, why they do it, love it, how it defines who they are.. It's inspirational, really, and motivation for everyone to find their 'dance'. In return, to gain are accomplishment, companionship, and health— mental, emotional, and perhaps physical. Dedicate yourself. Find your passion.

3) [Heart] Family: It isn't about blood, but love, support, and not giving up [on each other]. Nothing else matters. And in the end, true families prevail.



It's not the best film, but it's a decent and, for the most part, entertaining. And Moose dancing with Camille à la Gene Kelly down a quiet brownstone neighborhoody NYC street, and him in a drenched second battle are sure to please.




O, and Luke doesn't hurt either.. oops.




Happy Healthy Juicy Dance Film In Your Face!

A Loving Home is Better Than None

Within this week alone, I've unintenially encountered, on three separate occasions, stories of alternative means of parenting. I wonder: Is this the next or latest trend?

First, there was the article in the August issue of Marie Claire, which admittedly has some of the best articles on love and relationships. The [true] story is about a single, divorced woman who has and a child with her two gay best friends. Well, only one of them donates the sperm, but, together, they are all raising the 'baster' child.

Then, I caught glimpse of this new tv show, called '{Strange} Sex', on none other than the network that brings you the Duggers, Gosselins, and 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant', good ole' TLC. The episode features this self-proclaimed high-self-esteemed woman and two guys in a polyamorous relationship, where she has a kid with one of them, but they raise the kid together, as they all live together. The episode ends with the three parents meeting a new potential love interest, who might join the group, as 'poly' isn't limited to just three [plus baby].

Then, as a supporter of Team BritBrit, I cracked open the August issue of Cosmopolitan, a read I don't recommend if you want to boost or even maintain your faith in men. The article discusses how more and more women are not depending on being in a relationship to attend to their biological clocks ticking away; instead, they're purposefully inducing themselves into single parenthood.

[T]he idea of “family” has changed drastically over recent years, and people have a more flexible view–whether it’s kids being raised by unmarried couples, gay couples, or single parents. “A large number of us have also witnessed our parents go through a nasty divorce or had absentee fathers, so that intact nuclear family just isn’t the model anymore,” says Mattes [the director of Single Mothers By Choice]. The result: single motherhood is a growing trend.

The whole thing is pretty fascinating. The first two stories remind me of Full House [funny but unconventional and, at least on screen, it worked, if the sappiness wasn't debilitatingly nauseating], the last makes me come up with Jay-Z. The idea of an 'intact' [whatever that means] nuclear family being the ideal is a rigid one. Love is love and is unbounded and fruitful, whether it be from 1, 2, 3,...


Happy Healthy Juicy Parents with Love!