The Top 5 Joys of Aging

We live in an age-defying society and culture that feigns natural and feeds superficiality, spending, and never-ending discontent. While young folks rush to become adults, their older counterparts strive to hold onto that same youth they so anxiously tried to leave behind.



We look at aging like it's a disease. We dread the wrinkles, grays [or balding], sun spots, and sagging, and counter them with even more pore-clogging [clown] makeup, creams, dyes, Botox, scalpels, whatever it takes. And in the meanwhile, we ignore what we actually gain in the process. [And I'm not referring to the weight due to a so-called slowing metabolism, though we often ignore that too.]

Below is a friendly reminder that there are, too, joys of aging. Yup, that's right— joys. No matter how old. Feel free to add your joys in the Comments section following :>

Top Five Joys of Aging--

Number 5: Fully equipped kitchens and real food.

Remember school? We spent most of our youth there and had to subsist on cafeteria slop, re-hydrated freeze-dried foods, and other fast, mass-produced, ready-to-eat crap. Settling into a place with a decently equipped kitchen, cooking real food, and spending time with friends over the homey dinner table— mmm, there's nothing like it..


Number 4: Additions to the family.

'First comes love, then comes marriage (optional), then comes baby in the baby carriage.' Aside from the pooping, crying, and tantrums, how can you resist gushing over all the cute faces of baby spawn, posted by friends and family [in addition to, perhaps, your own]?


Number 3: Shorter memories.

There are definite advantages to forgetting things quicker. For one, it makes forgiveness that much more easier..



Number 2: Wisdom and the ability to give back.

I was helping a third grader with his vocabulary. He gave me this sentence: 'I have a lot of wisdom about baseball.' Wisdom, he read, means knowledge.

But wisdom is more than just knowledge. It's about experience, the ability to know better, and the gift to share it with others. What's better than being able to navigate this grand world with ease, help others, and give back? Like cheese, being aged makes us sharp.


Number 1: Who cares?

Pimpled adolescence is ridden with self-centeredness, -consciousness, and bullying, it's pretty ridiculous and equally amazing that so many of us survived the torment and angst. So after years of trying to figure out the world and our places in it, probably the best thing about aging is becoming more relaxed and comfortable in our selves, learning to let go and not get so hung up on the petty little things, and just enjoy.

See? Aging ain't so bad after all..

Happy Healthy Juicy, We All Get Older So Might As Well Go With It!

The Material Girl Gives Us Material Matter to Chatter About

Shocking news!! Celebrities are human, just like us! And they age, too, just like us!

That's Madonna, looking all teary-eyed upset but as lovely as can be for a Dolce & Gabanna ad.



O, the legendary Madonna. We've been watching her for decades now. Yup, that's right, decades. Who would have thought decades later, she'd be decades older?

Everybody was her first hit single in the early '80s. She was only 24, then. Or, alternatively, to reflect our modern-day perceptions, perhaps that statement should read: She was already 24, by then.

Point? We live in a twisted youth-obsessed society, where old is anything beyond 30. Forty is ancient. And 50? Psha, you might as well be dead, given the wrinkles, veins, and sagging will have eaten you alive.


Somehow, we're conned into believing that we're ugly when we can't defy gravity, time, and the human aging process. Famous people like Demi Moore, who has not aged since her mid-thirties, does this beautifully [pun intended]. She helps us believe that celebrities are superhuman or, that with enough funds, getting cut up or filled can make you beautiful just like the rest of Hollywood.


But don't worry. This is not a post on how more and more young girls [teens!] are learning and actually getting cosmetic procedures done each year. Nor is it about supplanting unrealistic, foolish, or superficial ideals into men, women, and children alike.

This is about the striking 52 year-old Madonna, endorsing high-end fashion, and.. [scroll down below but do so at your own risk.. of reality]




















Photoshop!

There's been a lot of hubbub around the differences between the two pics. Unfortunately, though, the chatter's been about her glaring veins and rough skin texture. Eww! Rather than the lying and untruthfulness that we are exposed to every single day over and over.. and over again. How could they?? No one even bothered to give the Material Girl props for having such hearty guns. The nerve..

But, everyone's entitled to creative freedom— the top really does make me want their product more than the bottom.. Just don't forget to let the kids [and other ignoramuses] in on the secret.

Happy Healthy Juicy Something to Blab About!

Hatcher Buries the Hatchet on Fake Beauty

Teri Hatcher let the critics get under her skin and took to her Facebook page [which the Desperate Housewife apparently has] to post self-shot pics of herself in nothing but a towel in an album titled, 'Oy with the Botox!!!'.


'Out of the bath getting ready for bed. Thought about all those damn critics of my face. Love it or hate it, my face that is, no surgery, no implants, no matter what "they" say. Decided I'd shoot myself in to reveal some truths about "beauty" and hope it makes you all easier on yourself.'


She attempts to inspire..


'Did I every toy with fillers or Botox over the years? yes. Tell me does this look Botoxed to you?
Yes I am alone in my bathroom naked in a towel on behalf of women everywhere trying to make a point. Women YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL'


She raves about role models just like her..


'I can be mad, or confused or sad and tired. Julia Roberts had that same vein in her forehead in Eat Pray Love. Proud of Julia for being a real woman on a real journey.'


She even gives us a lesson in photography.. who knew acting wasn't her only craft?


'45 year old me. Just me wanting to teach that all those glam versus trash pictures of celebs are about LIGHTING. It's not makeup it's not suregery or botox its LIGHT. Flat front light in you face especially sun setting 4pm light blows out all wrinkles and imperfections. Over head light, sun anything casts shadows under your eye from your brow making you look tired. Shoot all family reunion photos that way over the camera man who should be holding the camera a little higher than your eye line.'


Props to Lois Lane for reporting that women don't need Botox & the artificial like to be beautiful. Now, if only she were able to recognize that Dean Cain was both Clark Kent and Superman..

But in all seriousness, take it from Bruno Mars— doling sweet candy for your ears, filling you with self-respect, and leaving you without a single cavity.




Happy Healthy Juicy Love Yourself Just the Way You Are! ..wrinkles, sags, aging and all!

Pretty Woman Shares Insight on How to Age Pretty

Julia Roberts has been working the media circuit as of late to promote her new film, Eat Pray Love, out this Friday. Her promotional tour includes a slew of appearances, including one on the September cover of Elle magazine.

In her interview with the fashion magazine, the soon-to-be 43-year-old comments on aging,

'We live in such a panicked, dysmorphic society where women don't even give themselves a chance to see what they'll look like as older persons.'

So how does this mother-of-three feel about injecting paralyzing neurotoxic protein [the same that causes botulism] into her face in the name of vanity? In response to Botox, she says,

'I want my kids to know when I’m pissed, when I’m happy, and when I’m confounded. Your face tells a story... and it shouldn't be a story about your drive to the doctor's office.'

Looks like this Pretty Woman just keeps on getting prettier.

Hopefully her comments will be fashionable enough to sway the over 2.5 million people [yes, women AND men] in the US that got it last year from being repeat offenders and the many more that are even thinking about, or might be influenced into, doing it.


Happy Healthy Juicy au naturel Faces that can move!