Being partial to 'pop media', I was curious to see what the bashing was all about. The post was a love story of sorts, where the writer/husband ends up, to date, still in his marriage, presumably happily ever after?, despite his huge disappointment of the process. And though his marriage remains intact, he blames 'pop media' for deluding him and the masses, and warning that the thrill of the ride is not all that it's cracked up to be.
It was a lot of words about love (comments, included)...
He accuses Disney for infiltrating us with lies even in spite of beating the odds, having realized what it takes to maintain a marriage— something only half (or less) of those married ever figure out. He feels betrayed and laments, almost making us hope his wife hasn't read the post, considering the amount of effort it took for him to make their union work. Did he deserve better?
'How many people are in pain simply because they’ve been lied to. Those people deserve better. We all deserve better.
From Disney movies to my favorite shows like “The Office” to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married... It’s time that we changed the conversation about love. It’s time that we redefine it. Because until we do, adultery will continue to be common. Loveless marriages. Divorce. Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives.'
There are probably a lot of reasons to hate on Disney but that would be another post on another blog. But what's wrong with painting a better picture for our kids that love and life can be beautiful and that happily ever after is a possibility? Because, as they grow up, they learn all-too-fast the ugly truths that happily ever after doesn't always happen. In fact, it doesn't happen for likely the majority. Even some of the most popular Disney princesses are prime examples, including Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, and Selena Gomez.
As for songs, our pop artists have no problem edu-taining us with the notion that love hurts and it 'ain't easy'.
The issue isn't pop media. It's that the writer is stuck in the nursery rhyme: 'First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage...' He's confusing love with marriage.
Love is an emotion, a feeling, a sentiment, whatever you want to call it. Marriage is not. The two are not one in the same. Marriage is an institution, a practice, a formality that people utilize to symbolize their union. Ideally that union is built upon and bound by love but that is not a necessity, nor is love or marriage— two distinct entities— an ever-lasting commitment. Nor do you have to marry if you love.
Redefining love seems futile. Perhaps educating our kids on how to build and maintain HealthyButJuicy relationships, instead, might be something more worth talking about. Likewise, so might conversations about media literacy and distinguishing between idealism vs. reality. Beyond relationships, this could also include how our kids can realistically build/reach their life goals and aspirations, sans fru-fru idealism that might hazardously be floating around their thought-space.
In the end, it's not about decreasing divorce rates, though that would be nice. It's about raising HealthyButJuicy individuals. After all, in this day and age, we all know Dating Is The Worst.
This is just one opinion but what do YOU think?
Share your thoughts in the Comments below, we'd love to hear! :>
Happy Healthy Juicy Love and Build the Life You Do.
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