What Happens When You Have One Sick Single Parent, One Healthy Kid?

What happens when your kid is sick but both parents work?

That's the question the author of this article, Two Working Parents, One Sick Kid, addresses. When faced with his kid sick for the first time, the author (the dad) realizes sexist cultural norms still exist today and that, by default, in situations like these, mom stays home vs. dad.

He writes:

I, on the other hand, felt the full weight of parenthood finally pressing down on me. The buck stops with me, I thought, but I am not the buckstopper... Now, it was on me, and he was sick, and he was sad. And I had work. Lots of it. Something had to give. It was exceedingly hard to say, "Hey, I need to take some time off to care for my sick son." ... And I realized I was holding onto some guilt, too. Like I had abandoned my work, which I care deeply about, for a sick kid.

It's comments and, frankly, complaints like these that make it difficult to empathize.

Abandon his dear work to care for a sick kid? A sick kid? Said sick kid isn't just any kid but happens to be his own. What do working people who love their work really think when they have kids? That they won't have to make sacrifices for the life they brought into the world?

Moreover, it's all relative. While the author acknowledges working-parent cultural norms are sexist and the privilege is in his favor, he fails to acknowledge the full extent of his privilege. That, while he might have to take a few days off, his family still benefits from a) a higher chance that at least one present parent is healthy enough to care for their child and, b) a dual income to support his family.

This is not some raging single-mom rant. But to put things into perspective, what happens when you have one sick parent, one absentee one, and one healthy kid?

“I left an abusive relationship and I have nowhere to go. I have Hepatitis C, so no one is willing to take me in. I...

Posted by Humans of New York on Thursday, August 13, 2015

The author of the above article is experiencing a completely normal situation in probably the best of circumstances. While everyone is entitled to complain, what is he really complaining about?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Written by piecesofm.

How To Apologize, When To Forgive

I wanted to post this photo and give it a beautiful caption, like 'Blissful way to end the long weekend'. And it was, but that's only half the truth.

The real truth is that, yes, this was what the end of what our long weekend looked like— settled, calm, happy, loving, and together in a booth at a somewhat fancy, somewhat pricey (for us) restaurant— but it took a storm to get here.

My daughter is 2 years old, nearing three. Her 'terrible twos' days are numbered— I know, I've heard, three's are actually worse but I am in complete denial about it. I have to give her credit, though, because with me she's only had maybe one... ok, two, major public tantrums.

The first was in Trader Joes. She needed to go to the bathroom (bad) but we didn't have her toilet seat and she went hysterical, too afraid to use the 'big' toilet as is. She ended up peeing in her pants, which made the hysteria that much more amplified.

The second time was in the car at her school's parking lot. Maybe no one saw it (I'm hoping, but I'd again be in denial to really think that). She wanted to go back into the school to wash her hands, as I had asked when we were in there, but it was late and I wanted needed to hit the road because traffic was already bad and we have a long commute home.

This most recent time (yesterday) happened in the swimming pool. We were at the pool for a good 2 hours— I was going to limit the time to less than that because I was exhausted when we did that last time but that obviously didn't work. Nearing on hour 2, another family came to swim. We had seen and played with them last time, so knew they were good company. Shortly after, two other families came. It was like a party. I had just spent 2 hours carrying her back and forth in the pool, 'swimming', and my only child all of a sudden was at a pool party with kids all somewhat around her age.

But it was really time for us to go. We stayed another half hour and then I put my foot down, or tried to at least. All I can say is that she really wasn't ready to go. She let me know that, the other families, along with the whole neighborhood.

I always worry about times like these, where I am filled with insecurity and self-doubt. Am I a bad parent? What will these people think of me? Will I be reported? Yes, it goes that far. The media has done its job well— stories have successfully been sensationalized enough times and I, as a parent, have been sufficiently provoked. Thankfully, though, I'm pretty trained in self-talk as well, and can rationalize with myself that, that's ridiculous and I'm having idiotic thoughts.

When we got home and things settled down, was the time I took to talk to her, recap what happened, and teach her how to apologize for her actions. Previously, my method was three-pronged but, in between this latest hysteria and calm, I've made it four-. This is NOT something you should necessarily do with your child(ren) but this is what I did and will keep doing until I refine my parenting to do something else, hopefully better (more effective)?

First, I let her know she needs to apologize. Kids quickly learn and know when they've done something wrong, and when they need to do (or not do) something. As parents, we need to help them formally recognize these things by telling them direct. Their recognition skills are still underdeveloped. It's just like taking a shower. They know they need to do it but, still, they continuously need to be told for quite some time before they learn to actually do it themselves.

So she says sorry. But is sorry enough? That's a rhetorical question. I asked her why she was sorry. This is really important because just saying sorry is a cop-out— just saying sorry doesn't require her to think or reflect on anything. Asking why makes her think and learn to recognize the actual actions/behavior that warrants an apology. Hopefully, doing this enough times will sink in and she will be able to recognize the consequences of her behavior before she actually does anything.

Typically, then, after she says sorry and 'what for', I ask her if she's going to do it again, and if what she did is being good or naughty (translated from a different language). I do this sort of to summarize and drive home the message without dragging things on.

This time, however, I realized it would be good to add just one more piece to the apology: I asked her what can she do different for next time. I realized this was important because (clearly) she didn't know how to respond to something against her desires. In my original set of questions (arguably, a 'lesson'), she can recognize what she's done but, from there, doesn't learn how she can handle similar situations going forward. She obviously doesn't always know what she can do instead, so sharing some better options with her isn't 'cheating' by giving her the answers, but it can actually help her grow her 'good behavior vocabulary', so to speak.

Finally, I forgave her. I always do, once we've reached the end of the apology. This is actually what I consider one of the most important, if not the most important, steps of this apology process. Being able to forgive someone is an invaluable lesson to learn and skill to do. We gave each other a kiss and a hug, and said I Love You. Then, we kept on dancing.

Parenting can be tiring— after 2.5 hours in the pool, I was already drained— and challenging. But it can also be one of the most rewarding and strengthening things you ever do. My kid teaches me so much and continues to make me into the best version of myself... how's that for a sappy ending after all? :> 100% truth.

Below is a recap of how we apologize and when we forgive.

• Say sorry...
• Why are you sorry...?
• Is that naughty or nice?
• Will you do that again?
• What will you do different next time?
• Forgive: Kiss. Hug. I Love You. Keep on dancing.

How do you teach your kid(s) to apologize and forgive? Share in the Comments below, we'd love to hear! :>

Written by piecesofm.

How To Get A Better Night's Sleep With Young Kids

Did you know insufficient sleep can make you fat, stupid, and dead? Fast Company briefly explains why and suggests that you 'train in the subtle arts of getting to bed the right way.'

These suggestions are helpful but fail to address a subset of the adult population and root cause of their lack of sleep— parents with young kids.

If you're a parent, sometimes it's them not you, for why you aren't catching enough zzz's. Good news is the same tenets are applicable to THEM in the same context as well. Here's how and what you can do.

• Exercise - Fortunately, the gym is not a requisite for this. For both kids and adults, 'intense activity necessitates intense rest'. While your kids might not be jogging the tread mill, once kids know how to walk, they're running in no time and fast, wherever there's space and opportunity. Keep your kids active and bring them to places where they can run around, jump, and climb to burn off some energy for a better night's rest. Parks are an affordable suggestion but if it's winter, too cold, or raining, take them, perhaps, to a nearby mall with a play area. It's just as affordable as the park (ahem, free) and they can have the opportunity to socially interact with other kids as well.


• Bedtime - If you need 7 hours of sleep, subtract 7 from the time you need to be up and make sure you're in bed by then, the article suggests for adults. For kids, however, set their bedtime around the same time every night. Obviously, their sleep time won't be exact every night (just like us, they're not robots :>) but their bodies will get used to the routine and hour when you're consistent.


• Allow time - It's funny, you're not doing anything when you're sleeping, yet it takes a decent amount of effort to get there— using the bathroom, brushing teeth, changing into pajamas, to name a few— that you might actually avoid going to bed because of the process. With kids, the hassle is sometimes (often times) even greater because they're even more outrightly reluctant to do those very things. Add 10 minutes to all that, too, for bedtime stories. Like yourself, give your kids a sufficient amount of time to do the things they need to do before bed. Add extra time, if you can, for reluctancy. This is when that time-subtracting exercise might come in handy. That is, (Time to start getting ready for bed) = (Time you want them in bed) - [(Time it takes you to do all the things they need to do) + (5-minutes for reluctant fuss time)].


• Unplug - For adults, the internet and tv might keep us wired and awake, so they suggest getting unplugged for bedtime. For your kids, avoid the same that will get them wired, including consuming sugary items and jumping on the bed. Turning off the lights, speaking softer, and creating a peaceful, nighttime environment can also help.


• Ritual and routine - We are creatures of habit— both us and our kids— and the more often we do the same thing, the easier it is for us to do it and even without thinking. Create a routine for your kids by doing the same thing day in and day out for them to know what to expect. Hopefully, that way, their reluctance is minimized because they are empowered by knowing exactly what to do. Also, give them time to dance. Some or most of us, don't just plop into bed and fall asleep right away. We fix our pillows, adjust the blanket, and find a comfortable position to fall asleep. Kids are no different. You might put them in bed but give them a little time to say good night to their stuffed friends (if they sleep with them), ask the questions their curious minds need answered, and settle in before shutting eye.


• Dinner! - This wasn't included on Fast Company's list of suggestions but is really important for both kids and adults. Never go to bed hungry. While you may be able to fall asleep, your body, young or old, will wake you up if it's too hungry. Believe it or not, your body still needs energy even when it's sleeping like a log. Achieve this by eating a good dinner. Take time to actually sit down and eat together. Encourage healthy eating habits and nutrition, including engaging in conversation.

There's more to add to this list but this a good start. What helps YOUR little ones sleep better?

Share your tips in the Comments below, we'd love to hear! :>

Happy Healthy Juicy Better Night's Rest, Parents and Kids Included!

30 Ways To Know You're A Parent Of A Toddler

1. You impersonate the sound of every animal you encounter. If you’re a mom, you’re a bitch more than half the time.
2. You can accurately describe poop in all shapes, forms, and colors. And when you haven’t seen it in a while, you’re on what’s called ‘poop watch’.
3. Screaming doesn't sound as loud as it once used to (even if it has gotten louder).
4. You realize how difficult it is to sit down, though it’s really all you want to do.
5. Your memory has never fully recovered since the bump.
6. It’s an exceptional time in your life, where you can smell someone’s butt in public without reserve or being arrested.
7. 6pm is dangerous and is not a time to be sleeping.
8. You have to insist on vacuuming even when someone else desperately wants to do it.
9. You know every alternative to Pepperidge Farm’s Goldfish (not to mention every version of their own line).
10. You don’t have a lot of (or any) time to read books that don’t reference animals or personify inanimate objects.
11. Even when you’re by yourself, you look at a flying plane in the sky with wonder and excitement.
12. You skip your workout when planning to go out to a restaurant because that, in and of itself, is your workout.
13. Forget working out, who has time for that?
14. But actually, your biceps have never been so toned in your life.
15. You identify practically everything as ‘Not a toy’.
16. You insist someone else go to the bathroom when you do.
17. Though you appreciate their curiosity, you still get upset when they touch things in public bathrooms.
18. In fact, if Yelp had a category for public bathrooms, you could be an Elite reviewer.
19. You found another purpose for hoodies. It not only keeps heads warm and hair dry, but it also dubs as a leash in potentially quick runaways.
20. You didn’t realize standing in line at Starbucks was that interesting.
21. Forget lipstick, spare socks are your must-have purse item.
22. You can find the humor in snot.
23. You have rekindled your love for Legos.
24. You’ve never lost (or misplaced) so many items in your life.
25. You blame teething for any and all middle-of-the-night wakings.
26. You know that Cheerios can, in fact, be eaten with a fork.
27. You avoid fountains and escalators if you’re in a rush.
28. You’re always in a rush.
29. Car seats don’t scare you though your phobia for reinstalling them still gives you nightmares.
30. You are relieved at the end of the day when the house is quiet but are too tired to actually enjoy it. Instead, you go to bed early.

What did we miss?

Share below in the Comments, we'd love to laugh out loud!

And Share This Post on your social networks, it'd mean the world! :>

This post is authored by piecesofm and is dedicated to her life love, who'll be turning Terrible tomorrow! :>



Happy Healthy Juicy Parenting!

Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry - A HealthyButJuicy Original #15minuterecipe!

If you thought 30-minute meals was fast, try 15 seconds!

HealthyButJuicy kicks off its 15-second video recipes with Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry. Follow @mdesenna on Instagram for instant video-licious gratification and check back here for the detailed recipes. Dishes will be 100% HealthyButJuicy and scrumptious!



So one of the key skills you should develop when cooking HealthyButJuicy is to be able to modify recipes to your likes, tastes, budget, and what you simply have on hand. We called this dish Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry but if you don't eat or like pork, you can simply swap it out for ground beef, chicken, or turkey, firm tofu, or even meat substitute crumbles.

As for the vegetables, we used edamame and carrots (a couple of my daughter's favorites), red bell pepper, and scallions (aka. green onions). We would have added corn, which would have been a nice additional color (and another of my daughter's favorite) but we didn't have any. No biggie.

My daughter ended up not really liking the red peppers— we don't typically eat it often— but I thought it was a great addition both in terms of color, flavor, and texture. It added a bit of sweet- and juiciness and complimented the salmon that we ate with this dish well.

Re: kids and food dislikes. I am all for offering new foods to my daughter (almost 2!). Variety is the spice of life, isn't it? :> And it's important to offer variety to your kids when they're young because as we grow older we tend to be less willing to try new things or foods we think we don't like. As Ellen Satyr (a child nutrition expert) has said, sometimes it takes as many as 15-20 times for kid try a new food before s/he likes it (I remember that because I got that question wrong on a quiz in grad school :>).

Also, offering foods your kids may not necessarily like can actually help teach them some proper table manners. Instead of throwing food on the floor or across the room, my daughter now either gives the food to me to put on my plate, puts the food she doesn't want on her own plate (farthest away from her), or puts it back on the main serving dish. (Perhaps the latter isn't very proper but it's a step up from across the room. :>)

Pork Vegetable Stir-Fry Recipe

Ingredients
3 medium Carrots, diced
1-2 cups Low-Sodium Chicken Broth/Stock (enough to cover the carrots in a small pot)
4 oz. Ground Pork
2 Scallions, finely-sliced
1 Red Bell Pepper, diced
1 cup frozen, thawed Edamame
1-2 tbsp. Oyster Sauce
Oil, as needed

1. In a small pot, cook the carrots in the broth. Carrots take longer than the other vegetables to cook. Cook them to your desired consistency. We cook them until semi-firm to-the-bite, or how my daughter likes it. Skipping this step is also an option if you don't mind your carrots crunchy.
2. In a large wok or deep pan, heat up some oil (about 1-2 tbsp). Add the pork, spreading it across the pan. We're looking for a good sear to bring out the flavor.
3. Add the scallions and toss to release some of its flavors.
4. Scoop out of pan onto serving dish.
5. Add a little more oil to the pan and let it heat up a little.
6. Add the peppers and toss to coat. Cover the pan slightly to soften.
7. Toss in the other vegetables and stir-fry until everything is warmed up.
8. Add the pork and scallion mix.
9. Add a little bit of oyster sauce and re-toss.
10. Transfer the everything back to the serving dish. Voila!

Tweet or Instagram us a pic of this recipe if you try it! Tag your posts with #healthybutjuicy #15secondrecipe

We'd love to see your versions and how it turned out!

Happy Healthy Juicy Make-It-Your-Own Stir-Fry!

We Can't Stop... Talking About Miley Cyrus

Days after her performance, the world is still buzzing about Miley Cyrus and her performance at the VMAs.

This picture pretty much sums it up, in case you live in the outer-vortex of pop culture.
Source: Getty Images

It was all tongue and very raunchy. Man, her tongue.

But, really, could we have expected any less? Her latest hit, We Can't Stop, has over 162 million hits on YouTube alone (not to mention #4 on iTunes' Top Music Downloads, just under folks like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga) and, there, already, we got a glimpse of the ever-evolving, ever-straying-away-from-Disney sexual princess, tongue and twerk and crotch and all.

I just finished reading Miley Cyrus Inc.'s Branding Tips (via LinkedIn, no less!) and, despite the author's disapproval, personally, I think the girl got it right. Miley continues to engage audiences, larger and larger, and gives people something to talk about. As an entertainer, it's basically her job to do that and one she's obviously doing well. Marketers and branders can all learn from it since, apparently, We Can't Stop watching or talking about her.

That said, though, from a different, non-business perspective, where should the line be drawn? While her marketing/branding/engagement skills are top notch, as a public figure to such an influential demographic, is she violating her responsibility as a role model, which, unavoidably, she is and cannot escape. We get angry when images of murderers are shared and, arguably, idolized in the mass media, like when the Boston Marathon bomber was beautifully portrayed on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Equally, are we doing the same with Miley?

As a parent to a little girl [thankfully(?) not old enough to understand any of this], what would I say and how would I react if she were to have seen Miley's performance as, say, a t(w)eenager? Surely, I don't condone porn stars, which Miley is unfortunately erring on the side of; on the other hand, I don't know if the world really realizes how young Miley still is— she's not even 21 yet. Despite all the money and fame, she's still a kid and will make mistakes and go through stupid phases. As much as a role model I think/know she is, as a parent, my reaction would be continuous and way pre-determined. Way.

We all know entertainers and mass media are out there and can influence our kids, even ourselves. It's our jobs as parents not necessarily to abhor and shun it, because likewise, they can also be very positive forces in our lives and they're just sometimes simply unavoidable. In the very least, Miley wasn't hurting anyone, with the exception of maybe herself? (TBD) and some eyeballs and stomachs (which could have easily told their hands to change the channel). Take it/her for what it's worth (possibly nothing). Teach your kids values and media literacy and move on.

Here's a clip of her lyrics:

It's our song we can sing if we want to
It's my mouth I can say what I want to...

And we can't stop
And we won't stop
We run things, things don't run we
Don't take nothing from nobody
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ehh

And this is what I take— (See the positive in everything).
' Source


What (positive) things can you take away from Miley's performance or after-effects thereof? Share your Comments below or Tweet/Instagram us your thoughts, we'd love to hear! xoxo

Happy Healthy Juicy Positivity!

Baby's First Year TAG Video!

While being a first-time parent can be fun, exciting, and full of joy, it can also sometimes be a little overwhelming, considering all the things you have to learn and choices you have to make.

As a first-time parent, I rely on my skills to do research, as well as experienced family members, friends with little ones, and any other parent who's open to sharing with me their experiences. The latter, in particular, is a favorite. What are real parents actually doing these days with their kids? What works? What doesn't? What's good? Is this normal? So on and so forth. Since there's no one way to parent, it's our jobs as parents to try to research the options and find what works best for our children and it's our goal to bring out the best in them and to raise happy, healthy (and juicy :>) citizens :>

Hillary was right— it takes a village. So with my love of asking questions and love of hearing what other parents have to say, I created this TAG (video), which consists of 25 questions related to you as the parent as well as baby's latest developments. The TAG's called Baby's First Year but many of the questions apply to older tots as well, so please don't feel excluded!

Please do and share this tag! we'd love to hear your responses and I'm sure there are other parents out there who would too!

Enjoy and thanks for watching!

Part 1:


Part 2:


Happy Healthy Baby Juicy!

TAG! You're it!

Kourtney Kardashian TaKes her Kid on a Karb Krap Spree!

Kourtney Kardashian is just so excited to be a mom. She recently shared the above pic of her kid and this on her blog:

'Every first is so exciting and so much fun to take pictures of and experience!

This is Mason’s first trip to the grocery store. Yes, I know it has been 8 and a half months and I have not been to the market. It has always seemed like such a hard place to take a baby – the germs, the people, and before he was big enough to sit, pushing the stroller and cart at once… all just a big task.

We had so much fun and Mason loved it!! Things that would never seem like they would be meaningful or exciting have a whole new meaning when I experience them all over again for the first time with Mason.'

The germs, huh? What about the...

Whole Corn, Vegetable Oil (Contains One or More of the Following: Corn, Soybean, and/or Sunflower Oil), Salt, Cheddar Cheese (Milk, Cheese Cultures, Salt, Enzymes), Maltodextrin, Wheat Flour, Whey, Monosodium Glutamate, Buttermilk Solids, Romano Cheese from Cow's Milk (Part-Skim Cow's Milk, Cheese Cultures, Salt, Enzymes), Whey Protein Concentrate, Onion Powder, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oil, Corn Flour, Disodium Phosphate, Lactose, Natural and Artificial Flavor, Dextrose, Tomato Powder, Spices, Lactic Acid, Artificial Color (Including Yellow 6, Yellow 5, Red 40), Citric Acid, Sugar, Garlic Powder, Red and Green Bell Pepper Powder, Sodium Caseinate, Disodium Inosinate, Disodium Guanylate, Nonfat Milk Solids, Whey Protein Isolate, and Corn Syrup Solids.

..in just the Doritos alone??

Phew. [pause]. Catching my breath..

And wondering who's the one who really had 'so much fun' and 'loved' the shopping experience? I mean, at least white bread would have been more cushiony..

It's not really surprising to see this celebrity mom binging on crap, though. Earlier this summer, the reality star blacked out, saying:

'I was just running down the beach like I always have been lately. And then I just woke up. I didn't eat anything this morning.. I'm so embarrassed that I punished my body for a photo shoot.'

She admits: 'I've been obsessing about this weight thing a little too much.'

Just a little..

In the ongoing celebrity race to lose the baby weight ASAP, Kourtney reportedly lost about 33lbs in just three months after delivery. She then flaunted her superficial 'victory' on the cover of Life&Style trash, with flowing hair, a big pearly smile, and all.



The Kardashian sisters are said to have become [gulp] role models for many girls/women. Let's just hope this 'weight thing'/'experience' is not one they will follow.


Happy Healthy Juicy Nourish You & Your Baby Better Than Krap!

Eco-Cool, Back-to-School Lunch: In Style

Mama's Milk Does a Baby Good.. and so does Love & Affection

In the late 60s, The Beatles sang the universally-relatable song, All You Need Is Love. Today, researchers are now suggesting the importance of mothers [or primary caretakers] showing it too. They found children who received more warmth and affection in infancy, grow up to have less emotional distress and anxiety in adulthood.

In a recent study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, data was collected from 482 participants born in Providence, RI, tracking them over time from the age of 8 months to an average of 34 years old.

Mothers' interaction and affection toward participating infants were assessed at the start of the study; and then the emotional health, including feelings of anxiety, hostility and general distress levels, of the children as adults were assessed decades later.

In accordance with what has long been popular belief of the positive effects of raising children in a nurturing environment but has limited/lacks sufficient evidence, researchers found that infants who received the highest amount of affection grew up to have the least emotional distress, particularly in terms of anxiety.



Vice versa was also true: those who received the least amount of affection in infancy had greater levels of emotional instability later in life.



Researchers attributed affection toward the development of social skills for healthy relationships and coping mechanisms to deal with stress and anxiety. They concluded, "These findings suggest that early nurturing and warmth have long-lasting positive effects on mental health well into adulthood."

Some strengths of the study were the size of the study's participating population and that it was longitudinal— that is, the same individuals were studied over a long period of time.

Some limitations were the questionable generalizability of the group— are those born in Providence representative of the general population?— and the skewed proportion of affectionate mothers— that is, 85% showed a 'normal' degree of affection, whereas only 6% and 10% showed a very high levels and low levels, respectively.




Nevertheless, one can never argue enough for more love & affection.




Happy Healthy Juicy Show Your Baby A Whole Lotta Love!

The ART of Today's Evolving Families

What does Proposition 8 and Jen Aniston's new flick have in common [other than the fact that the former will be ineffective and the latter will be released both by the end of this week]?

Parenthood.

It used to be that assisted reproductive technology [ART], as it is so fancily called, was used by 'traditional', married [opposite-sex] couples experiencing problems with conceiving, including fertility medication and in vitro fertilization. Today, well, we no longer live in a traditional world. As romantic relationships change in our society, so does the meaning of family.

A notorious example is divorce.

Remember when divorce was uncommon? It actually wasn't so long, ago. Rates soared in the early 60s, turning what was [and still is] believed by some to be the most 'ideal' parenting situation— one with a mom & dad — into single-parent, missing-parent and step-parent households. Today, it is estimated that about 50% of marriages end in divorce.


Legalization of same-sex marriage and partial effects of women’s lib are two additional, emerging examples that are changing relationships in our society today.

As same-sex marriages begin to integrate into our society as a norm, it’s likely more families are going to arise out of them.


As for women’s lib, namely in the arena of career, the issue used to be figuring out how a working mom can juggle both work and family life. But now, as time progresses and women become even more focused and successful in their careers, the issue is not just how to deal with both lives but how to attain them. That is, some women may be so focused on career that they forget about or don’t invest enough of their energies into relationships, while others may put forth the effort but without any luck of finding ‘the one’. Whatever the case, these women are single, with clocks ticking, and with enough of a nest egg to support nesting an egg of their own.


In both these cases, if adoption is not the method of choice, ART is. And like divorce, these non-traditional families don’t come without complication or at least issues of their own. In divorce, issues include custody, visitation rights, and child support. In these new familial shifts, issues extend even further into legality, such as whose name goes on birth certificates [carrier, donor, partner..?], to possibly morality and ethics, such as addressing whether using anonymous sperm strips away children’s ‘inherent right’[?] of knowing where/who they [totally] come from.

For a more extensive discussion and an interesting article: Read this.

[Gamete] donation is a current hot & heated topic of the moment, as it is brought into the limelight along with Aniston's new flick, The Switch, her public comments about it, and the use of ART.

Along her press junket, Aniston has been [controversially, or juicily] quoted as saying..

'Women are realising it more and more knowing that they don't have to settle with a man just to have that child.. Times have changed and that is also what is amazing is that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents' days when you can't have children because you have waited too long..

'The point of the movie is what is it that defines family? It isn't necessarily the traditional mother, father, two children and a dog named Spot. Love is love and family is what is around you and who is in your immediate sphere. That is what I love about this movie. It is saying it is not the traditional sort of stereotype of what we have been taught as a society of what family is.'

Not one to shy away from controversy, Bill O'Reilly responded:

'She's throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that hey, you don't need a guy, you don't need a dad.. That's destructive to our society.. [and] diminishing the role of the dad.. Dads bring a psychology to children that is, in this society, I believe, under-emphasized. I think men get hosed all day long in the parental arena.'

Feeding the feud, Aniston responded:

'And, of course, many women dream of finding Prince Charming (with fatherly instincts), but for those who've not yet found their Bill O'Reilly, I'm just glad science has provided a few other options.'

While it might be the end of the discussion for these two [for now], it’s just the beginning for the rest of us.

To conclude, some food for thought: Considering divorce situations aren't deemed the most ‘optimal’, is that then to say even heterosexual couples shouldn't have children because of the such high risk of potential unideal circumstances [a dissolution of the mom and dad duo]?

And for dessert, some la la’s..




Happy Healthy Juicy Families without borders but Full of Love!

Pretty Woman Shares Insight on How to Age Pretty

Julia Roberts has been working the media circuit as of late to promote her new film, Eat Pray Love, out this Friday. Her promotional tour includes a slew of appearances, including one on the September cover of Elle magazine.

In her interview with the fashion magazine, the soon-to-be 43-year-old comments on aging,

'We live in such a panicked, dysmorphic society where women don't even give themselves a chance to see what they'll look like as older persons.'

So how does this mother-of-three feel about injecting paralyzing neurotoxic protein [the same that causes botulism] into her face in the name of vanity? In response to Botox, she says,

'I want my kids to know when I’m pissed, when I’m happy, and when I’m confounded. Your face tells a story... and it shouldn't be a story about your drive to the doctor's office.'

Looks like this Pretty Woman just keeps on getting prettier.

Hopefully her comments will be fashionable enough to sway the over 2.5 million people [yes, women AND men] in the US that got it last year from being repeat offenders and the many more that are even thinking about, or might be influenced into, doing it.


Happy Healthy Juicy au naturel Faces that can move!

But we are like cows, see..

Earlier this week, the Daily Mail UK revealed that Gisele Bundchen will don the cover of Harper's Bazaar UK September issue, along with tidbits from her interview. Their opinion about the supermodel is blatant, as the article's title reads: 'Smug mother Gisele Bundchen says there 'should be a law' forcing women to breastfeed for six months'.

The title targets Bundchen's comment:

'I think breastfeeding really helped. Some people here think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think, "Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?" There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.'

Forget law, instead, what she got was worldwide backlash. To date, the article's post has accumulated nearly 700 very opinionated comments, the majority of which were not in support of the super glam, super rich, super married-to-Tom-Brady, super claims-an-easy-birthing, super rapid-baby-weight-loss mom's opinion. Shocker!

Ok, perhaps 'law' wasn't the best choice of words but readers are taking what she said a little too seriously and personally, and are missing the point. In line with what she said about diet during pregnancy, all she's doing is advocating breast milk/feeding, as nature intended. Shocker, I know! But it's true: breasts aren't just decor, props, things to grab, things to fill with silicone.. ..things to salivate over, perhaps.. if you're a baby sucking the milk out of the mammary glands which are contained within. And what about this milk?

From the Surgeon General's Perspective, 'Breast milk is the best source of infant nutrition.' According to the WHO,

'Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. A recent review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants.'

Is that to say everybody can breastfeed? and for that long? [Rhetorical questions] No and no. It's meant to convey though, that it's 'optimal', or favorable— as they say, 'breast is best'— for most women [hence 'population basis'] and, more importantly, people [men and women both], in the least, should be educated about it.

So, power to Bundchen for encouraging breastfeeding! because I don't think enough people with the power to influence do.

The article goes on to 'report':

'..Gisele's comments are at odds with the experience of other celebrity mothers.. Denise Van Outen, 36, recently admitted that she gave up breastfeeding her three-month-old daughter Betsy after less than a month, claiming she didn't like the idea of being spotted nursing in public. ..TV host Kate Garraway said she struggled with breastfeeding her daughter Darcey. 'After three weeks I certainly didn't feel sexy, I felt a bit like a milk cow who existed only to provide food for her child,' she said.'

Umm, Garraway? Case and point. Breasts ARE meant to provide food for children! Her child included. And we ARE like milk cows! Shocker! ..While it may be difficult to accept humans as anything less than higher beings, we are— like cows, pigs, goats, dogs, cats, horses, rats, etc.— all, commonly known as, mammals. And the fact that females can make food is a pretty cool thing, almost superpower-like. I don't understand why people, women especially, don't embrace the power of the bosom but are, instead, so against [and even embarrassed by] it. Moreover, how is drinking milk from one's own species more intolerable than drinking milk from another animal altogether? Just wondering..

In response to all the hubbub, Bundchen responded with this 'special message':

'My intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with the law. It comes from my passion and beliefs about children. Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be the best for my child. It’s unfortunate that in an interview sometimes things can seem so black and white. I am sure if I would just be sitting talking about my experiences with other mothers, we would just be sharing opinions. I understand that everyone has their own experience and opinions and I am not here to judge. I believe that bringing a life into this world is the single most important thing a person can undertake and it can also be the most challenging. I think as mothers we are all just trying our best.'

So you see? Gisele isn't the boobie monster. All she wants is the best for children— hers and, yes, even yours. Is that really so bad? Those quick to judge need to, um, relax, then take some courses in, say, nutrition, anatomy & physiology, business [because that's what formula is produced out of], and perhaps anger management. A toast! To Mama's milk! from Mama herself!

Happy Healthy Juicy Bundchen Breasts! ..oops, I mean, Team Bundchen! Breastfeeding! Rah!

For many, Pregnancy can be a Bumpy Ride (don't fall off the wagon.. nom nom)

Who is Ali Larter? I've seen her name a bunch of times and since she is referred to under the assumption that people know who she is, I still don't know who she is nor would I be able to identify her if she were in a lineup of blonds. She's blond— that much I know. So, to put an end to the mystery, yet, more so to know who I'm referring to for the start of this post, I Googled her. [For those of you who are as clueless as I, she's an actress and has actually appeared in a bunch of things. oops.]

And in case you're not updated on the latest, she more than four months preggers with her first child. Speaking of pregnancy, she's been quoted as recently saying:

"I eat everything. I bake myself strawberry shortcakes and then I wake up at three in the morning and I eat them... I work out. I play certain roles where it's important for me to look a certain way. But now it's just freedom. It's like, 'Bring on the Sprinkles cupcakes, pizza, pasta.' I'm loving it!"

Too bad she didn't mention burgers, fries, and nuggets with that list— she could've added McEeDee's to her CV.

The unfortunate thing in this is that Ms. Larter is not the only woman to say, think, and act like this. Take reality star Kendra Wilkinson, for example. During her pregnancy last year, she's been quoted as saying:

"I’ve been eating a lot of breakfast - eggs, bacon and cheese sandwiches with wheat toast, a lot of waffles with peanut butter. Peanut butter is my biggest craving. I actually put bananas and syrup all over it, too. Even though I don't usually eat much meat, I've been eating a lot of ribs with barbecue sauce and steak. Also, my craving for chocolate came back. I never ate it before because it gave me migraines."

And...

“I never ate fast food before I was pregnant. But every now and then I’ll get this sudden craving for, you know, like Arby’s or Taco Bell. A lot of spicy food, too!”

And, commenting on a trip...

There were so many rides and SOOOOOO much awesome food!!!!!!!!!! I seriously couldnt stop eating! lolololol. I ate bbq ribs, baked beans, chili, and a sandwich…to name a few. Oh the perks of being pregnant hahahaha!!

That's not to meant to support the notion, though, that all blondes are, well, dumb. Contrary, supermodel Gisele Bundchen, who also had her first child the end of last year, was quoted as saying..

"I did kung fu up until two weeks before Benjamin was born, and yoga three days a week."

She also said she was "mindful" about what she ate and explained,..

"I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals."

Thank you, Ms. Bundchen, case and point. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Happy Healthy Juicy, You [& Your Unborn Child] Are What You Eat!

A Loving Home is Better Than None

Within this week alone, I've unintenially encountered, on three separate occasions, stories of alternative means of parenting. I wonder: Is this the next or latest trend?

First, there was the article in the August issue of Marie Claire, which admittedly has some of the best articles on love and relationships. The [true] story is about a single, divorced woman who has and a child with her two gay best friends. Well, only one of them donates the sperm, but, together, they are all raising the 'baster' child.

Then, I caught glimpse of this new tv show, called '{Strange} Sex', on none other than the network that brings you the Duggers, Gosselins, and 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant', good ole' TLC. The episode features this self-proclaimed high-self-esteemed woman and two guys in a polyamorous relationship, where she has a kid with one of them, but they raise the kid together, as they all live together. The episode ends with the three parents meeting a new potential love interest, who might join the group, as 'poly' isn't limited to just three [plus baby].

Then, as a supporter of Team BritBrit, I cracked open the August issue of Cosmopolitan, a read I don't recommend if you want to boost or even maintain your faith in men. The article discusses how more and more women are not depending on being in a relationship to attend to their biological clocks ticking away; instead, they're purposefully inducing themselves into single parenthood.

[T]he idea of “family” has changed drastically over recent years, and people have a more flexible view–whether it’s kids being raised by unmarried couples, gay couples, or single parents. “A large number of us have also witnessed our parents go through a nasty divorce or had absentee fathers, so that intact nuclear family just isn’t the model anymore,” says Mattes [the director of Single Mothers By Choice]. The result: single motherhood is a growing trend.

The whole thing is pretty fascinating. The first two stories remind me of Full House [funny but unconventional and, at least on screen, it worked, if the sappiness wasn't debilitatingly nauseating], the last makes me come up with Jay-Z. The idea of an 'intact' [whatever that means] nuclear family being the ideal is a rigid one. Love is love and is unbounded and fruitful, whether it be from 1, 2, 3,...


Happy Healthy Juicy Parents with Love!

Crack a Smile, Not Your Butt.

Garbology - the study of garbage.

Chaology - the study of chaos [or theory of].

Momilogy [..that's '-ilogy' not '-ology', the latter still has yet to make its way to a non-urban dictionary..] - the study of mUmmies.

And gelotology? - study of.. Jello? .. ..ha ha?
Butt yes! 'Ha ha' is right!
Gelotology - the study of laughter. [from the Greek gelos, geloto meaning laugh, laughter, laughing..].

Laughter has apparently become a popular trend within the scientific/medical field. If you do a search on PubMed with these key words: 'laugh OR laughter OR laughing OR funny', at least 2273 citations result. Many scientists are trying to better understand the mechanisms and effect of laughter on health. Most, if not all, confirm laughter in the positive [laughing at another's expense not included].

Studying laughter, though, can be a little complicated-- 'level' of laugh [giggle vs. roar], length of laugh [count 1, 2,..], frequency [episodes per day], cause, physiology, effect [short and long term].. But details—and ones we thankfully don't have to worry about. Laughs, big or small, they're all good, including this latest discovery..


Butt Paste!     plain&simple

Goes on and cleans off easily

Very handy for travel

Available in convenient sizes

Pleasant scent

And yes, this is real. It goes for about $22 per 16oz. jar, for those times when you, accidentally, let it go.

Was this created out of sitology? Funny you should ask, to some extent, yes, though it's more like 'created out of the output of..'.

Sitology - the study of foods, food values, nutrition, diet, etc.; dietetics.

You might think this association of 'sit' and 'food' was born out of the American lifestyle but in fact, in Greek, sitos actually refers to food, grain. ..o those Greeks.. [chuckle] <— psst. add to daily count [wink. grin.] [& that too].


Happy Healthy Juicy Giggles & Guffaws!

Feeding our kids.. better, let's try.

A woman is out to lunch with her child and is ordering her meal—salad complication. When she finishes ordering, she then explains/apologizes, but her son won't be getting anything.

She uses some lame excuse— he's a picky eater [proceeded by..] he only eats these giant black&whites cookies, which she points to and which she conveniently picked up for him on the way over. [Story 1].

. . . .

Not everyone has the time, or money for that matter, to afford to eat lunch out at a sit-down restaurant. Subway dining or noshing is an alternative many in the city tend to practice, even parents...

A mom strolls her child in the subway around noon-ish and comfortably sits in the two-seater at the end of a car. There is a paper bag nestled on the top of the stroller— a convenient place many stroller parents stash their nosh while on the go. She reaches her hand in and pulls out some fries, along with a whiff of McDonald's that permeates the stagnant air. She hands a fry to her daughter and snacks on some herself— it's lunchtime. Apparently, it's also branding time. [Story 2].


(She looks hooked, doesn't she?... oops.)

. . . .

It's (almost) 10pm and the woman sitting next to me does know where her child is because, after a slight yawn, her little one asks, 'Mommy, where's my cheese doodles?', in the cutest of voices no less.

Mommy responds, 'I don't have any cheese doodles.'

As if Mommy did.not.just.say.that, the 3 year old calmly repeats: 'Mommy, where's my cheese doodles?' Then taps Mommy's big purse bag, in case she had a slight lapse in memory.

Mommy repeats, 'I didn't buy any cheese doodles.', opens her bag, and stands by her word. And that was that. No cheese doodles were consumed. Should Mommy have had the so-requested cheese doodles, however, another story would have resulted. [Story 3].

. . . .

With parenting, comes great responsibility. Are they safe? Are they getting what they need? Are they healthy?

The thing about parenting is that we can only do so much. In just but a few years of life, kids go off to school and playdates and whathaveyou and become subject to things outside the guidance, rules, principles, and culture of their parents/guardians. Nonetheless, however, parents and guardians still hold, for the most part, most of the accountability of how their children are raised.


The above three stories are real and in each there is value we can gain from.

Story 1: Mother eats healthy but doesn't feed her son so.
Response: Props to Mother for eating her greens but enabling cookie-monster tendencies in her son is uncalled for, nutritionally unwise, and preventable. A) Children don't have money or much means to get food on their own. B) Children need to eat. C) Children will [have to] eat what they are given when they are hungry. Share some salad, Mom.

Story 2: Mother noshes on [double] fried & flavored starch.
Response: Mother, what you eat is [to some extent] your business, but do you have to endorse the multi-billion dollar business and train your child's taste preferences with its fuel [aka. fries et al.] which will later then fuel its already ridiculous profit margin? Children need nutrients. Food [naturally] with vitamins, minerals, and fiber, they're all a good thing. O, and parents, they need nutrients too.

Story 3: Mother doesn't enable and child doesn't fuss.
Response: OMG, I know. It is actually possible to not feed your child crap and without headache too. Because the child knows about cheese doodles, though, implies Mom's bought them for her before, but hey, as always, everything in moderation.


It's not about perfection— which doesn't exist — or restriction, for that matter. It's about..


Happy Healthy Juicy Child Nutrition & Their Future!

Bodies Can Support Image, Just Not Life.

It’s been reported (reliability of source, unknown) that Posh Spice, aka. Victoria Beckham, is trying to beef up, sans beef, but with starchy carbs because she’s trying to get preggers. They’re supposedly trying for a girl this time. Her and her soccer player husband, David, have three boys at the moment.

This post has been looming in the back of my mind for a while and it seems like this is as appropriate a time as ever to bring up the issue, which is… housing. ..of babies-to-be.

I started noticing a somewhat dramatic trend in Hollywood a while back— an increasing number of celebrities were giving birth to multiples. And I’m not talking about Octomom or Kate Gosselin. But consider Angelina Jolie and Marcia Cross, amongst others, both are mothers of twins.


And then there’s Giuliana Rancic—do you know her? In case you don’t, she’s the co-host of E! News with Ryan Seacrest, ‘reporter’ for celeb events, and, as of recent, star of (yet another) reality show. Because of her latest role, she’s made it public that she’s trying to get preggers. She even went on The View to talk about it:

"[The doctor] said [I should gain] 5-10 pounds, which I know isn't a big deal and if you want to have a baby you should do whatever it takes… I had to bite that bullet. You have to understand something. I work out everyday of my life, I love feeling good, waking up, working out. I finally did gain the 5 pounds. We're working on more."

So how do you think she’s doing?             [comment box is below].
(The pic on the left is from June ’09. The pic on the right is from March ’10.)






It’s been about a year [?] since she’s been trying and still no ‘luck’ (nor excess calories, it seems). Her stint on The View apparently also didn’t turn out so well. The day after...

Whoopie said: "It's not like she's an actress; she's on the red carpet, so she should gain the weight."
Giuliana’s retort? "Because I'm a reporter, I'm held to a different standard than an actress? It's almost like she puts actresses on a pedestal. I thought that was the most ridiculous statement I've heard on that show in a very long time."

In other words: 'It’s not fair! Why are they allowed to be skinny and I’m not??’


Please, tell me now what’s really ridiculous..

..in the meanwhile, I’ll tell you what’s not fair:

• 1 in 5 women struggle with an eating disorder or disordered eating.
• Eating disorders affect up to 24 million Americans.
• At least 50,000 individuals will die as a direct result of an eating disorder.
• The diet and diet related industry is a 50 billion dollar a year enterprise.
• One study found that over 1/2 the females between the ages of 18-25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat, and 2/3 surveyed would rather be mean or stupid.
• If today's mannequins were actual human women, based on theoretical body fat percentages, they would probably cease to menstruate.
The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness, (2010 Apr 06).


…o, and one last one:

Everyday men, women, children, and adolescents are bombarded with images of women like Angelina, Posh, and 'G', (who may or may not be menstruating), and duped into believing that that is healthy and beautiful.